Dear Traveler Who Left Behind a Crockpot at TSA

Dear Traveler Who Left Behind a Crockpot at TSA,

Yes, you read that correctly. A Crockpot. At airport security. While the rest of us were hustling laptops out of bags and debating if lip balm counts as a liquid, you rolled up at Reagan National like you were about to host a potluck on the DC → Dallas flight.

Did you seriously wake up this morning, glance at your ticket to Dallas, and think, “You know what I can’t leave home without? My seven-quart slow cooker.” TSA, bless them, didn’t even bat an eye—they just slid it through the scanner like it was perfectly normal to bring beef stew to Gate B22.

But alas, when told to remove “all electronics larger than a cell phone,” you apparently decided the Crockpot didn’t qualify. And then you abandoned it—just sitting there on the conveyor belt, like a sad, lidless monument to questionable priorities.

Somewhere, your chili is crying. Somewhere else, a TSA officer is trying to decide if they should confiscate it, cook with it, or repurpose it as a lost-and-found terrarium.

Sincerely,

Observer in the Pre-Check Line (still wondering what was on the dinner menu you sacrificed for Delta flight 1432)