Dear Passenger at Gate T3,

Dear Passenger at Gate T3,

Good afternoon and welcome to the communal waiting area we all call the boarding gate. While most of us are passing the time by scrolling Instagram or wondering why a pretzel is $14, you’ve decided to stage a National Geographic: Feet Edition right here in the terminal.

Not only did you remove your shoes with the urgency of a NASCAR pit crew, but you then proceeded to prop your bare feet—yes, the raw, unfiltered, Hobbit-adjacent appendages—on top of your carry-on luggage like it’s a spa ottoman. Sir/Ma’am/Creature, this is not your living room, and Delta has not launched a “BYO Pedicure” lounge concept.

Now, while your toes are clearly living their best life in this public display of podiatric freedom, the rest of us are forced to question everything we thought we knew about society, hygiene, and whether hazmat suits should be available for purchase at Hudson News.

Sincerely,

Traumatized in 2F (currently booking therapy appointments on the airport Wi-Fi)