Dear Michelle, My Emotionally Exhausted Airbnb Host

Dear Michelle, My Emotionally Exhausted Airbnb Host,

Thank you so much for the… experience… of checking into your Airbnb last week. Truly unforgettable. I especially enjoyed standing in the lobby in 90-degree heat, in JEANS, sweating like a sinner in church, because you were nowhere to be found — despite having my full flight schedule, ETA, and enough messages from me to qualify as a wellness check.

And then — and THEN — when I sent a polite, tiny, barely-concerned string of question marks (“????”) to confirm you were still alive and maybe owning a clock… you responded with:

“Please be kind and respectful in your communication.”

Okay Michelle…

Let’s talk about your feedback.

Because as far as I recall:

• YOU were late.

• YOU had my flight info.

• YOU left me standing in a humid lobby dressed like I was attending a denim convention in hell.

• YOU didn’t answer messages for 25 minutes.

But somehow I am the problem?

I send a few punctuation marks and suddenly you’re Mother Teresa reviewing my tone?

Michelle, babe… if question marks hurt your feelings, I regret to inform you that hosting strangers for money may not be the career path the universe intended for you.

Next time, instead of projecting your unresolved emotional baggage onto me, might I suggest projecting yourself to the lobby on time? Just a thought.

Sincerely,

A Guest Who Used 0% Harsh Words & 100% Reasonable Question Marks

(currently hydrating, cooling down, and reconsidering hotels forever)