Dear Marriott Workforce Planning

Dear Marriott Workforce Planning,

Good evening from the hotel restaurant, where I came hoping for a quiet dinner and instead discovered what appears to be the world’s most ambitious one-person operation.

When I walked in, a woman greeted me at the door. Lovely. Friendly. Efficient. She seated me, handed me a menu, and said she’d be right back.

Then she disappeared.

Not because service was bad. Because she was, apparently, every employee in the building.

First she popped up behind the bar mixing drinks. Then she ran plates out of the kitchen. Then she cleared a table. Then she rang someone up at the front desk. At one point I’m fairly certain I saw her outside parking a car.

Ma’am, are you also the valet?

A few minutes later she rushed past carrying towels like she had just finished housekeeping on the third floor. I half expected her to stop mid-stride and check someone into a room while plunging a toilet and making a martini.

Meanwhile I’m sitting here in the dining room wondering if I should just help bus my own table or maybe clock in for a shift.

It’s honestly impressive. I haven’t seen this level of multitasking since my mother tried to cook Thanksgiving dinner while yelling at us to set the table.

To be clear, the poor woman is working hard. This is not on her. This is on whichever corporate mastermind looked at the staffing plan and said, “What if… hear me out… we just hired one person and gave them every job?”

At this point I’m just waiting for her to land a plane on the roof.

Sincerely,

A Guest Who Came for Dinner

But Is Now Concerned I Might Be Asked to Run the Dishwasher Next